To My Baby Up In Heaven

So we all left and went out to eat that day and went home and cried. I cried for a few days and then I must’ve ran out of tears because when I did try to cry, nothing came out. It was hard. My depression got worse. I said that I never wanted kids after this one because I was afraid that I would have another miscarriage since they say if you have one you’re most likely going to have another. So I said never again will I get pregnant and have kids.

I get a call from my clinic the day after I found out I lost the baby and they said that they were sorry for my loss and that I could get a shot called Rogham. The nurse said its suppose to help women carry babies full term, since they think I lost the baby because of my blood type and I’m B-. They said if mines a negative and the babies a positive, I will most likely have a miscarriage. So I went in the day after we lost the baby and got the shot.

A week went by and I still didnt pass the baby on my own so I went to by appointment that I had scheduled a week ago. They asked if I was bleeding, or had anything and I said no, nothing.  So I had her do an ultrasound again just to make sure there wasnt a heartbeat and there wasnt. So she scheduled me for a D&C the next day.