Before You Date Me, Make Sure You Understand I Am the Other Half of a Single Parent Household

I am the other half of a single parent household and have been for over five years now. I’m not a mom or dad, but a best friend. I love my best friend and I love her daughter (my “niece”), so before you date me know that we are a package deal.

I am the last minute phone call because the babysitter backed out and my best friend has to go to work today. I am the phone call every time dad cancels a visit and other child care arrangements have to be made.  I am the emergency phone call at 2 a.m. because my niece is in the hospital.

Being a single mama is not easy. It’s been said “it takes a village to raise a child” and in our case that village lives 2 hours apart. 

I will drop all of my plans and drive four hours round trip to pick my niece up for the week-end so her mama can work overtime and drive her all the way back Sunday night when her mama gets off. I will cancel a date at the last second  because my niece and her mama will always be my number one priority, and if they need me I will always go. 

There is a bedroom at my house specifically for my girl and it is always ready for her to arrive. I can’t plan a weekend away without consulting with them to make sure they are covered for the days I’ll be gone with a backup child care plan in place. 

When my best friend texts me I will always check my phone and I will always answer a phone call. No matter where we are no matter what time it is. I can ignore everyone else for a “date night” but I cannot ignore them. 

No one else ever sees her second guess her choices as a mom. She will always put her child first and will always do what she thinks is best for her child and she will take on the world to do so, but after she’s done she’s calling me to talk through her choice and make sure she’s doing what’s right because even the best mom’s need reassurance. 

My best friend amazes me every day with how much she does to make ends meet and give her daughter the world. I am proud to be her best friend. She pushes me to be better, and I am so glad she chose me to be on this journey with her. 

So if you want to date me know that you are choosing them and this crazy roller coaster ride we are on. You’ll have to go with the flow and be able to accommodate adding a child to our plans at the drop of a hat. And you’ll have to get used to random video calls to talk to my girl cause she’s having a bad day and she misses me. You’ll have to learn to accommodate late night phone calls with my best friend cause it’s the only time her life slows down enough to talk. You’ll have to learn that even though it can get stressful we’re worth it.