A letter to MY daughter’s mother:

Now back to July 1 2021; had you been any bit of involved or aware of life in general you would know that it is the day the final order was signed by the judge. Hopefully you get a copy of it, but you may not since your email bounces back every time our lawyer tries to email you and lord knows where you’re living now. Since you may never read it let me sum it up for you; her father has full custody and sole parental responsibility and you have no visits. At least for now. If you decide to pull your head out of your ass and get your life together for the daughter you claim to love so much then there is a path for you to earn visits back but rest assured it has so many safety measures in place to prevent you from yo-yoing in and out of “your daughter’s” life. I am sure you’ll tell a different story to anyone who will listen and blame myself or her father while you play victim, crying that you haven’t seen your daughter in 3 years now. I used to feel sorry for you, really I did. But now I feel sorry for “your daughter”. I feel sorry that she has the memories she does of you because 95% of them aren’t good memories. I’m sorry that she still questions why you made a promise to not go away but did it anyways. But what I am most sorry for most of all is that this 8 year old girl continues to lay in bed some nights, crying, asking me why you chose drugs over her. I used to try to answer that question in the most positive way possible without dragging your name through the mud but now I know better. Instead, I tell her that is a question that “your mom” has to answer because she’s the only one who knows the answer. I assume you will place the blame on her dad and I, that we brainwashed her to turn against you. Well if brainwashing is showing her a home that runs on respect, love, attention, and working together while your home offered interrogation, blaming, constant arguing and confrontation, and abuse, then yes, you’re right, we brainwashed the hell out of her. But maybe at 8 years old she started to do what you always said she would do “She will start to remember all of this and make her own choices”. But, I hope someday “your daughter” does get to ask you that question and I pray you give her the answer she deserves and not just another lie. It is the least you can do after everything else you’ve put her through.

I hope this letter does eventually find you. Every night as I put “your daughter” to bed I wonder how you even get out of bed every day knowing that you know even less about “your daughter” today than you did yesterday. I can’t say that I know what it’s like to be you, and honestly I don’t want to walk in your shoes to find out. You chose a path in life that I would have never considered, and I hope that you do take this personally.You are the last person the world would expect to have let her down and to have made her feel like less than first place in your life. Unlike you I know what it means to keep a promise. I promised her a long time ago that I will always be there for her; and every day and night for the last 3.5 years I have been there for her, for MY DAUGHTER, and nothing will ever change that.

Always,

“your daughter’s” mom

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