If there’s anything I’ve learned in my time in dealing with you, it’s that I’ll never win. But, you’re also not worth my time, the stress or the decline of my mental health. For years I’ve tried to protect your name just to preserve the small amount of respect MY child might have for you. What little amount that might be has only gotten smaller with no contact day after day and year after year.
You left him
I may have left you, but that didn’t give you the right to walk away from my sweet, forgiving and full of life child. That was your choice. You say you were too young, but what was I? I was still in high school and you were years older. But YOU were too young? I’ll never understand that statement. I grew up, by choice, far quicker than I wanted to. But I knew that I needed to. There has never been a time where things got so tough that leaving him was an option, yet it was so easy for you.
But it’s my fault, right?
At least you say it is. One thing I’ve never done is talk poorly of you or keep him away from you out of spite. You needed to grow up before I trusted my child with you. Unfortunately that happened 14 years too late. You called once every few years, always when I was at work or while he was in school. But that was enough in your eyes, right? He’s almost 17 and now you want to come around? Why? To clear your conscience and be able to say you made an effort? That’s hardly an effort.
Blood doesn’t make you family
What makes you family is being there, showing up and never giving up. No matter what. I’ve been there for him day in and day out, through the good times and the bad, the nightmares, the doctors appointments, teachers conferences, sporting events and so much more. When were you there? The day he was born and only because you had to be. You may share DNA with him, but he is in no way yours. And that might be tough to hear, but it’s the truth. You can’t blame me for not allowing him be involved in your illegal activities.
I want you to have a relationship
But I’m afraid it’s too late. I feel bad for you for deciding to grow up too late. He’s amazing. MY child is absolutely wonderful. But you’ll never know anything about him. You know our address, you could’ve written a letter or sent a gift or a card. But that took too much effort on your part. But again, that’s somehow my fault. I just pray for the sake of your other kids, they never know that side of you. That you show up for them the way a real parent should. The way you should’ve shown up for mine. Maybe one day, he’ll want to know you and if or when that time comes, I hope you stay this time because you won’t get another chance.
Sincerely,
The mom of the child you left
About The Author
My name is Tiffany, I’m 34 years young and a single mama to a teenage boy going into his Junior year in High School.
I live in the wonderful PNW, Washington state to be exact. I am a Loss Prevention Supervisor for a retail store. In the little free time I have, I love cooking and baking. I’m an open book and always say what’s on mind. I’m fierce and funny and am very much ok with making a fool of myself.
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Tiffany Anderson
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