To Her Father Who Should Have Been There

A girl’s first true love is her father. —Marisol Santiago

You don’t love her by saying, “I love you” once in awhile.

You love her by being there for her. You love her by making the effort to be in her life; to know her, to know what her dreams and passions are, who she love, what moves her.

It’s not the thought that counts. It’s the actual execution that matters. It’s not enough to know that deep down, you love her. You have to actually show her that you care.

You love her by making an effort for her; giving her your time, your understanding, remaining a rock when we fall on hard times, not leaving when things get hard.

It was your job to teach her how not to be afraid, to open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.

I hate how long it takes her to trust someone. She doesn’t want anyone’s sympathy; she doesn’t want these labels: The one with abandonment issues. The one who keeps you at a distance. The one looking to fill a void. The one with the trust issues. Because this is only a part of her; but the part that she needs to fight every time someone tries to get close to her nevertheless.

It was your job to teach her that people don’t leave when things get hard. That people fight for what’s worth fighting for. It was your job to be the one man in the world who would never hurt her.

Because as a father it was your job to be there for her.To teach me about how stupid boys are, to be there for my first heartbreak and wipe my tears away telling me everything will be okay.

To tell her she’s beautiful when she doesn’t feel like it; to take a picture of her before my first prom, to be there for her when her dreams come true, with a look in your eyes that makes hre feel like the most special girl in the world.

Don’t pretend everything is okay.

If you want her back in your life, you have to earn her trust, because you messed up. Nothing fixes itself, nothing comes back simply because you want it. When you a mess up a relationship, you have to work for it, fight for it, make an effort for it.

You thought that circumstances were an excuse to stop being there for her – so you let your past, your pride, your demons, your selfishness, the fact that you’re weak or scared, be a validation for why you stopped fighting for her, making an effort to be there for her.

But she is the girl you need to appreciate.

Give her your time, all your love, take her on a crazy adventure. Teach her something new, spoil her, make her feel special, She wants to hear about the little things that make you, you. Your biggest regret, how we first met, the first girl who broke your heart.

I want you to challenge her. Change her view, make her believe in lasting relationships again. Teach her how to fix a flat tire, how to dribble a soccer ball, teach her how to be better.

Don’t lose her because of your pride, fears, ego or selfish ways.

A father should put his daughter first; inspire her to reach for more, love her so much that he won’t betray her trust. Not walk out the door because it got too hard because you shouldn’t let any circumstance ruin this – this unconditional love that every daughter needs to have.

Wake up and realize she’s worth fighting for. Because if you don’t, you are the one who will suffer the most.