I know exactly who you are. And I know exactly what you want. I can tell you, I have a particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you do what I say that’ll be the end of it.
Moms.
Some call it mother’s instinct or woman’s intuition. It’s a set of skills you are automatically handed when you have a child. And while some kids may think we’re coy and can get away with murder, all I have to say is Moms know…we always know everything:
- How to get the stain out of your favorite shirt.
- How drunk you really are when you come home.
- What time you really got home when you tell a fib the next morning.
- Where you left something.
- Who your real friends are.
- What the weather will be like tomorrow and how you should dress.
- If you’re lying…
- And if you are lying about lying.
- If you forgot something, mom knows before you even pull out of the driveway.
- What you’re thinking just by your facial expression.
- If you’re upset about something…
- And if you are trying to hide it.
- If you like someone…
- And are denying it.
- What exactly is wrong with you when you’re sick…
- And what’s best to make you feel better.
- How to cook without looking at a cookbook.
- Whether or not you will like a food before you even try it.
- Things about your personal life only your best friend knows…
- You would think a secret spy is working for her.
- If you’re actually listening or not.
- If you ignored her text and said you “didn’t get it.”
- How to braid your hair perfectly.
- If you’re up to something you shouldn’t be.
- When you’re about to ask for something.
- When you just need a hug…
- Or an ear to listen…
- Or just a glass of wine after a long day.
Thanks mom. We love you. We appreciate you. And now we have inherited your special set of skills when it comes to our kids.
