Second chances…if you’re one of the many that gives them, you’ve probably been burned a few times. Your kindness is often taken advantage of, and unfortunately you end up hurting in the end. The lesson to take from this is- when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
They aren’t going to change unless they want to.
You can change every single thing about yourself, and for some people, it still won’t be enough. This is where you need to switch your mindset. Instead of asking whether or not you’re good enough for them, start asking yourself whether they’re good enough for you.
The only person that can change them is themselves. Stop beating yourself up and putting yourself down over someone who does not appreciate the amazing person that you are. Someday they will realize what they lost, and by then it will be too late. By then, you will have loved yourself enough to find someone who appreciated you the first time around.
Who they are is who they are.
Some people really can make positive changes to their behavior. That hope of wondering if they will be one of those people is what’s kept you hanging on for so long. You have to remember that at their core though, this is who they are.
Unless they take real, actionable steps towards changing themselves on their own accord, you will be in this constant uphill battle that will only leave you hurt and broken. You deserve someone who is exactly who you need them to be right from the beginning. Settling for anything less is simply not an option anymore because it’s time to love yourself.
If they’re selfish enough to hurt you, be smart enough to walk away.
It’s hard letting go of someone you love, whether it’s a healthy love or not. But staying in an unhealthy relationship is much harder in the long run. End the relationship and cry once instead of crying every single time things go wrong again.
Be with someone who is not only willing to give you everything you deserve, but who actually wants to. Why would you want to force someone to be who they’re not? It will only leave you both absolutely miserable. You’ll end up hating each other, so it’s best to see the signs right from the beginning and move on instead of dragging it out for a second, third, or fourth try.
If you do give them a second chance, set clear boundaries.
If you truly love a person, it’s natural to want to give someone a second chance. Just set boundaries before giving it. Tell them exactly what needs to be done or you’re walking away. It’s okay to give an ultimatum when it’s your heart on the line.
You are worth someone who is sure of you the first time around and who will be everything you need them to be. Anything less, show them the door. Believe them the first time they hurt you and save yourself any future heartbreak.
breakups, dating, first-impressions, heart-break, online-dating, online-dating-as-a-single-mom, second-chances, single-mom-dating, single-mom-life, who-they-are