To My Baby Up In Heaven

After that appointment I made an appointment to see an OBGYN and they got me in a few days after my last appointment. Then i remembered that I was I to go see my mom for a couple days that coming weekend. And I’m thinking, how the f*** am I gonna tell her that I’m pregnant. It’s not easy. My mom was my only parent growing up and we tell each other everything. It’s not like yeah mom by the way I’m pregnant and shes suppose to be like, okay great. No. It didnt go anything like that.

She picked me up from my boyfriends moms for the weekend and while she was driving, she asked me if I wanted a cigarette and I said no I dont smoke anymore and she asked why, I said cause I cant afford them anymore. She then said you’re pregnant aren’t you. I bawled. And I couldn’t even look at her. I felt like I failed her as a daughter.

My mom just put her head on the steering wheel and said what are you gonna do?  I said I dont know what I’m going to do mom. I’m 18 years old and I’m pregnant. It’s not like it was planned. But I told her about the appointment I have in a few days to see my OBGYN, and she asked if she could go and I said yes cause I originally planned for her to go with anyway.

So my mom went with me since my boyfriend had to work and we went through all the paper stuff and then the nurse took me into the ultrasound room and had me change and said the doctor will be in in a second.  The doctor came in, talked to me about whts going to happen and told me how they were gonna do the ultrasound.