Whether you look forward to getting your flirt on or appreciate getting to know the person on the other side of the screen on a deeper level first, here is how to conquer Zoom like the Ruler you are.
Question: Wait what — date right now? HOW??
Answer: There’s no way dating is going to come to a halt, pandemic or not. The desire to connect is strong, and the pandemic shows us just how strong it is. Not surprisingly, the rate of new subscriber sign-ups has increased steadily within the double digit percentages since mid March. Because of government imposed regulations and/or because of the desire to be safe dating has largely been moved online to platforms like Zoom, FaceTime, or Skype.
Question: But wait — How can I “feel” a person over a screen??
Answer: I’m speaking from personal experience here — and I am sure you have come across this in Zoom meetings, work or personal, of your own — you really can look into someone’s eyes on-screen and completely and totally feel their energy. I say it is so much easier to get in touch with who the person you are communicating with really is over Zoom than over a phone call — and therefore it’s more exciting and also more scary. You will find out rather quickly whether you should invest more of your time and energy or whether your hopes are just that and it’s time to move on.
Either way, you want to be prepared to be, give, and feel your best, and here is how:
Color and light (which we will cover in just a minute) will be your best friends. Keep in mind that colors come across differently and often more harshly on-screen. Choose softer colors than you would normally on a date where you’d meet in a restaurant, for make-up and clothes. Use the Zoom meetings that you have for work or with friends and family as your playground — or your science lab. Play with different shades and hues of color to find out what you feel most confident in on camera.
Again, some prior experimentation during Zoom calls with familiar yet unsuspecting faces might be most beneficial. That way, you really can decide how light or intense you want to go, and you can experiment with how to achieve your desired look on camera. I personally want to achieve a fresh-but-not-made-up look which translates to a light hand with foundation, a dab of blush, and a my-natural-color-but-better lip. If I want a tad more, I’ll add lightly filled-in brows and mascara. I skip the eye shadow. If you want to add it, stay with a matte one in a hue close to your skin, meaning if your skin color is of a medium hue and you want green eye shadow, stick with a medium green. Your best friend on Zoom, however, is lipstick. It’s the natural counterpart to your eyes and it really freshens up your face so do take advantage of every opportunity you get to find out which shades bring out your beauty best!
Lighting makes a HUGE difference so check it out ahead of time! Walk around your home with your phone or camera at the time of day when you are planning to have the Zoom date and notice in which spots the light works to your best advantage. Consider investing in a camera that makes you look even better — if that’s possible. Check out this blogger-and-youtuber favorite.
Even if your Zoom date is at night, there is still a difference between actually being at a restaurant or other venue and being in the sanctuary of your home. Therefore, in most cases, you don’t want to dress up as if you were going to that fancy place, and for sure you want to change out of your sweats. Zoom or not, dressing up still expresses respect for the other person as well as it allows you to express yourself and hence instills power and confidence within yourself. Pick the prettiest outfit you would wear to a fancy or celebratory lunch with your besties and you will own this!
Do or wear something that secretly gives you confidence without the other person knowing: your badass heels, the perfume that always has you swooning, sexy lingerie, or light that favorite candle that always transports you to your dream vacation and is a conversation starter all in itself.
Have something fun up your sleeves for when you run out of questions to ask. Suggest a lighthearted game with the just as lighthearted intention to find out what the reaction to a change of course is. Consider “Would you rather…?” Hint: Follow up with “why?” to make things more interesting and deep! Another option: Two Truths And A Lie. Have fun!
Relax & Enjoy
Dating is a process, and you are at the center of it. You know what you want in your ideal partner, and whether or not this date works out means you are one step closer to your true desires. Meeting our vision requires us to take the steps, and every now and then a step back. Take a long bath, apply your favorite mask, listen to music, all of the above. And remember: even if you think you are a nervous mess, chances are so is the other person, and someone who gets you and appreciates you will find you most charming.
Don’t forget: YOU’re in charge
Consider your life for a moment. I’m willing to bet you wear multiple hats. In my book you’re a Ruler. You’re the boss of your destiny. And you’re the selector. At the end of the day(te) you get to choose whether you like them or not, and whether to move forward or not.
You got this, and we got you.
About The Author
Dagmar Spichale is the founder of her namesake brand of urban lux women’s dresses with a passion to nudge women to live their best life. Sign up for weekly style tips and behind-the-scenes looks at her website, www.dagmarspichale.com.