Even though you are a single mom, you are not expected to swear off dating forever. But there is a right way to date and a wrong way to do date.
Having poor judgment when dating as a single mother can mean consequences for your relationship and consequences for your children.
So here are 5 tips on how to balance a boyfriend as a single mom.
Balance Your Time
Balance is everything. You never want your kids to feel like you have met a new man and now they come last in your life. That should never be the case.
Your kids are your kids, they are a part of you, and a boyfriend is just that until he becomes a husband. Therefore, never treat your children like step children. Always make time for them.
I would caution against going out with your boyfriend 5 times a week and leaving your kids with the babysitter.
You are their mother, not the babysitter. Your role as their mother will continue despite you having a boyfriend.
You can go out with your boyfriend, but he should also be understanding of your position as a single mother and not monopolize all of your time.
Watch What You Do In Front Of Your Kids
Your kids are always watching you, even when you think they aren’t. Therefore you need to watch what you do in front of them. For example, it may not be wise to have your new boyfriend spending the night every night after you just met a month ago.
You would hate to give your kids the impression that this behavior is okay. Imagine it like this, would you want your teenage daughter spending the night over her boyfriend’s house after a month of meeting him.
Probably not, but the first thing she is going to say is “Well mom you did it.”
So always watch what you do in front of your kids. Children will do what they see you do, not what you tell them to do. Never do anything with your boyfriend, in front of them, that you wouldn’t want them to repeat.
Get To Know Him First
I know that you may be excited to have a boyfriend after being a single mother. But you still must use good judgment, the last thing you want is to get so caught up in your new boyfriend only to find out he is a registered sex offender after you have introduced him to your children. As a mother, you have a responsibility to keep them safe.
Don’t Do Too Much Too Soon
Introducing your children to every date or boyfriend that you have is not a good idea. You do not want your home to be a revolving door of men that they get to know and then get abandoned by.
As a single mother do not let your children see every man you date until you are sure about them.
It may mean that you have to meet your boyfriend at the place where you are going or that you have to take your children to the babysitter’s house to be watched.
However, you manage, keep who you are dating a secret until you are sure he is going to stick around.
Know Where This is Going
Once you get to know your boyfriend and are sure that he will be around for a while, you can introduce him to your children.
This will give him more time to come over and spend time with both you and your children that way you will no longer have to split up your time between the two.
After your children meet your boyfriend you can also go on dates or places as a family. Your children will start to get to know him and you can see how he interacts with your kids.