Self-care for Moms is Not Optional
The transition to parenthood is hard and depressing. The early period of Motherhood triggers postpartum depression for mothers who are unable to get sufficient rest before and after childbirth and emotional support throughout the pregnancy period. But, harder is the long-term journey of nurturing that Motherhood takes one through.
Just like any other engagement and relationship, Motherhood will bring to you wins,
victories, and mistakes. But, one thing is constant, just like every other person who minds
their mental health, you will need to first forgive yourself when you mess up, decide to forge ahead, put on a smile and remember to take care of yourself too.
While you juggle the balls of Motherhood, remember the ball of self-care.
Self-care is taking care to not forget your needs and meeting them even as you satisfy those of others. It is relaxing from the hustle of duties and work just to recover one’s self. Not everyone cares for themselves. Self-care is essential for any person, totally self-regulatory, and should consist of self-care activities that you want.
Your Children Learn Self-Care From You
Wikipedia has suggested that it is self-initiated and deliberate; it is to
be learned; it is purposeful, and it is continuous. Self-care does not just happen. You cannot care for yourself and not know.
Your children see you. Of course, self-care is essential to maintaining your health and making you feel good about yourself, but it’s more than that. You cannot raise loving and fulfilled children without self-care. Yes, the young ones SEE you. You wouldn’t want them to grow up to be incredibly selfish and demanding adults simply because Mom never said No. Or grow into depressive work habits, because Mom never took breaks.
And because Mom never showed that anybody besides them deserves love, not even herself. Practicing self-care sets a proper perspective of life for your children.
Self-care is a necessity for you and your children. It is merely in the order of things that you
can’t effectively love and nurture others beyond your level of self-care. The importance of
self care cannot be over-emphasized.
Why Is Self-Care So Hard For Moms?
There are several reasons why self-care comes hard to Moms. We have been feed with the
ideology that Motherhood is solely a call to sacrifice and hard work. Also, self care for Moms is highly misunderstood. It is not popular culture, and while we get to know what it is, we find ready excuses not to follow through on our self care plan.
- We can’t get proper sleep because the baby won’t just SLEEP all night long.
- There is no time to cook, shop, or even sit down to eat first ourselves.
- We’ve given up having quiet time for as long as the kids are still young because kids are just never quiet.
- There is simply no time to go to the gym. I mean, we can’t even have a pee our own.
- We don’t socialize because you rarely leave the house.
- We’re so busy changing our baby’s underwear and keeping its environment safe and healthy.
- We barely have time for personal hygiene.
But, are excuses ever valid? Is there a way out?
Learning how to take care of you as a Mom may sound funny, but it is a real thing, so don’t
feel stupid. You will have to start by creating a self care plan. Coming through on your self-
care plan will prove hard if you try to achieve all your goals all at once. However, to come
through on yourself care goals, you must firstly, set out what you want to accomplish in this new journey. Is it more or better sleep or both? Write it down.
Secondly, think through them concerning your peculiar circumstances. Are you a single Mom, you have a partner? Do you have a helper? Do you have older kids? Think through with an open mindset because you can always work things out. And thirdly, have a round-table discussion with all stakeholders involved in your plans and suggestions.
Setting A Plan
In following through with Mom self care, a lot of Moms complain about the difficulty of
working around the house—talk more of caring for themselves when their young ones are
still babies. And even after the young one has outgrown their top rated baby carriers, they
move complaints to how they are worried the babies will get injured due to their hyperactive nature.
Worry, worry, worry. You can’t take care of yourself first in this kind of state.
Just try these self care tips:
Identifying what makes you relax and recoup
Planning for a babysitter
Relax during your relaxation time
Getting a journal for writing daily. Write just about anything you want to write about,
plans, gratitude notes, favorite memories, poems, etc.
Getting early sleeps and have your spouse watch your baby during the early hours. It
could be once, twice or more a week
Teaching your spouse how to care for the kids, too, most would be glad to help.
Dressing like you. You ARE Mom. You don’t have to dress LIKE one
Going on dates with yourself
Filling your water bottles daily and placing them everywhere in the house
Getting 1-2 hours of me time every weekend; mornings preferably
Reading, reading, and reading more on self-care from healthy sources.
Take care of yourself first.
In creating your care routine, make provision for physical, emotional, psychology, and
spiritual growth. Remember also; these self-care activities that are necessary to your personal growth and development are just as important as those you’ve set out for your children’s development. Below are some activities you can incorporate into your self-care routine:
Get social; join a Mom self care club.
Exercise regularly; take fast walks to the grocery store, play music while doing your
house chores, join a gym with a daycare facility for Mom-members.
Personal hygiene, let someone hold your baby while you take care of yourself, get
new products to try.
Work in your self-esteem; get makeup looks to try on, read books, adjust your
wardrobe to suit your desired taste- you are Mom to only your baby, so dress up!
Great sex; start thinking of yourself as a sexy woman and wife and not just a Mom,
adjust your wardrobe to suit this mindset too. Talk to your partner about sex positions
you would like to try. Get a new playlist to get you in the mood.
Meditation; take time to do this while breastfeeding, while the young ones are
sleeping or in school while they are at the babysitter’s etc.
Regular check-up; while they are at the babysitter’s, with Grandma, hubby, roommate,
In following through to your care routine, remember to make use of self care items that suit
Finally, in creating your care routine, remember you are choosing what YOU want to DO to
MAKE yourself healthier and better. You are set on a journey to revive that person who
went missing in Mom, and someone Daddy misses—cheers to becoming Mom and
more with mom self-care.
Betti WIlson quit legal practice for five years to take care of her three sons. Self-care
helped her realized that quitting her job wasn’t what she wanted. Currently, she works as a
babysitter and enjoys helping new moms navigate this turning-point of their lives. She loves reading and swimming.