You, long lost father to my child, have missed so much.
Why? Your excuse always seems to be a direct attack on me.
I’m the reason you won’t have a relationship with your child. I’ll accept that for now. After all, I am the one who has given myself and every fiber of my being to his every need and want.
No matter how many times I begged and pleaded for you to be a father to the child that you helped bring into this crazy world, you never seemed to actually give a damn.
Do you want the honest truth?
He doesn’t deserve a father like you. He deserves far better than anyone you could ever be.
You don’t deserve to be in the presence of any child, let alone my child.
You don’t deserve to watch that smile and hear the crackle of that innocent laugh.
You don’t deserve to kiss the boo-boo’s.
You don’t deserve to watch the soccer games.
You don’t deserve to teach him how to migrate this journey called life.
You don’t deserve to read stories at bed time.
You don’t deserve to feel the squeeze of his arms around your neck when he comes running for a hug.
You don’t deserve to hear the words “I love you” come from his mouth.
You do not deserve a second of your own child’s time. When did you ever give him a second of yours?
Where were you when the fevers spiked?
Where were you during the late nights dedicated to curing the stomach flu?
Where the hell were you during all the times that your child deserved to have two parents cheering him on, comforting him, and directing him through life’s obstacles?
Where were you when the question about your existence rose up from the ashes that I just hoped would blow away in the whirlwind you left behind?
You can look at pictures. You can look at his face through the pictures that I pray to the high heavens eats you alive one day.
How do you sleep at night knowing just exactly who you left behind?
One day you’re going to have to face him. One day you’re going to have to answer his questions. I hope by then you will have come up with better excuses.
I hope that one day you don’t have to be the invisible ghost that breaks his heart day by day.
Until then, all you are is a dead-beat dad.