There is no manual to a happy relationship, just like there’s no manual to raising children. I wish I read some books on the subject before I got involved in this relationship in order to better understand it.
I admit I was scared. Terrified, actually. I became responsible for someone other than myself and my life changed in an instant.
I never expected to be in this situation. I never thought I’d fall so deeply in love with someone who has already given life to a human. I sort of expected my life to go as planned. You know, like we all do. The plan that was dreamt up at age 12, when we were still hopelessly confused about life and love. Heck, most of us still are hopelessly confused.
The plan was to fall madly in love with someone, and then have children together. To grow, to learn together, and to bond with your significant other and your baby.
Some believe you are robbed of these experiences with your partner when you enter into a relationship like this. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it’s simply not true.
I still get to experience every one of those wonderful feelings, I was never robbed.
I’ve learned that you are simply gifted in a different way. This child chooses to love you and I believe that unconditional love is a beautiful and indescribable feeling.
They have ten tiny toes, ten tiny fingers, your partner’s eyes and none of your DNA.
Love is not about genetics. Love is a choice. As you get to know this child, everything that you love about your partner you see in them. After all, they are an extension of them. Just because they don’t share your genetics doesn’t mean they deserve less love than you would show your own biological child.
I choose to believe that I was given a heart big enough not only to love my partner, but to also love their child. I’ve never regretted my decision to take on this relationship.
Alone time is something to be cherished.
In a relationship without a child involved there is an unlimited amount of time for cuddling, intimacy, and time together. It’s not that it’s taken away when a child is involved, it’s just limited.