An Open Letter to Daughters Whose Dad Failed Them

To the daughters whose dad failed them,

It’s not your fault.

You are worthy of love. Real love, I’m going to be here no matter what you do or where life takes us love. The kind of love that people on TVs do so well, but people in real life seem to struggle with. There was nothing that you did to make this person who was supposed to help raise you, help guide you, and teach you about life walk out on you.  hi

He failed. Not you.

Do you hear me? HE failed you!

Whether you haven’t seen him in years, don’t know him at all, or are struggling to have a meaningful relationship with him – this applies. Don’t doubt your self-worth and don’t find ways to blame yourself for his short-comings.

Try not to group every man on this Earth in the same category as your dad. Give guys a real chance when they earn it because they aren’t all the same. Don’t seek out their flaws or wait for the moment when they are going to let you down and leave. Cherish them.

Don’t spend your life comparing your situation to girls who have amazing dads. You see, when you spend your time comparing, you miss out on the blessings of your own life. And while her life may look picture perfect to you, there is always more than meets the eye.

Enjoy your blessings that you do have. Explore what you learned from this experience and how it shaped the person you are today.

Me? I learned that I give people too many chances and I forgive easily. My dad got 3 chances with me and he walked out every single time. This year was the last time it happened and sitting here writing this to you today, I forgive him. It still makes me sad and angry on some days, but my life is not overcome by how he failed me.

I don’t plan to make the mistake of inviting him in my life again because he is toxic and manipulative. I don’t want my children to feel the same hurt that I felt at their age because “papa” never chooses them. But I do forgive him.

I learned that I am strong. That I can come up against anything that life throws at me and I can get through it. Not only will I survive, but I will find a way to thrive. My life will be amazing despite what he did over and over again. It doesn’t matter that my childhood was pretty bad.

It doesn’t matter that he never chose you.

Do you know why?