It’s critical to maintain boundaries between adult problems and children. Please protect your child’s innocence and allow them to remain children.
They must not be burdened by adult problems. Kid’s don’t have the coping skills or the intellectual ability to understand money worries, adult relationship issues, or their parent’s unhappiness.
I’m just going to outline the golden rules of adult manner and basic parenting skills in case people forget.
Watch what you say in front of children.
What you say to a child resonates.If you talk bad about one parent, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, etc. That alters your child’s view of them completely. This also can carry into adulthood.
Never make a child feel like they have to choose.
Why are you giving an innocent child an ultimatum? “This is why you should love me more.” “Look I give you this, so you’re loved more by us.” No, a child does not have to choose. A child does not need to feel guilt or remorse at such a young age.
Teach that child. Care for that child. Repeat.
Whatever role you have in a child’s life, your goal is to help them learn new things and become a great person. You do so with positive reinforcement.
A child’s mind is innocent, they do not know any better.
Let that child love who they love. If you feed their minds with hateful thoughts of someone they love, you are doing that child a disservice.
You created an independent being that you are lucky enough to raise and (hopefully) mold into a productive member of society. A child is not your attachment. A child is not your puppet. They are allowed to love whomever they choose.
Never make that child feel like they aren’t loved.
Your ultimate goal is showing that child they are loved. That means staying in rather than going out. That means caring for a child’s health. That means sacrifice. That means being there for them and filling their minds with positive thoughts and innocent thoughts.
Never confuse a child by telling them your adult issues.
You are an adult. You stay strong because you have tiny eyes always watching you. Stop being bitter about things in the past. It does not matter what hurt you. It does not matter who hurt you. Never burden or hurt that child with your grown up business.
There’s plenty of times when I had to hold my tongue, but here’s why I do every single time:
What I feed into the mind of an innocent child will hurt them more detrimentally than how badly it’s hurting me in that insignificant moment. Everything I say and do, a child remembers.