Coping With The Cries No One Ever Tells You About

The big difference is that when kids in my care cried or resisted the routines their parents had given me to follow, it didn’t really impact me. Yes, I cared that they were crying and sought to meet their needs and comfort them. But I didn’t feel anything emotionally like I do with my son.

When he cries it breaks me a little. I feel like my sole purpose in that moment is to meet his needs and comfort him. It’s a feeling I can’t explain fully and that I never could have anticipated. I think it’s simply a part of being a mother to feel so strongly in response to your child’s cries. It’s what keeps us going. Even though we’re exhausted and drained, our child’s cry for us – their need will always win.

But it’s what happens when our crying child is just.. crying that needs to be discussed more often. For the first few weeks, Elias only cried when he had a need I could easily fulfill. He was hungry or he needed a new diaper. But when he hit 3 weeks old, a switch flipped.

He developed some serious issues with gas related to an oversupply issue I was having. And while I of course immediately did my research and figured out ways to address this and help him, much like how the issue developed over time, the solutions were not instantaneous.

When your baby cries and you cannot immediately “fix it” for them – it’s extremely challenging on many levels. Aside from the fact that your child’s cries make you sad in general, you feel like you’re failing them when the answer to their troubles isn’t a quick feed or snuggle.

We talk about what a baby’s cries mean and how to respond. How to stay calm and collected. How to assess needs and fulfill them for your baby. But it’s rarely discussed that sometimes – babies just cry. No one tells you how you’re supposed to handle that. And honestly, I can’t tell you either.