Kids.. shhhh you can here them…they are teaching you. Reading every book on the subject, I was determined to be the perfect new mother. All I had to do was follow advice from those who have been there before and wrote a book so they could share their knowledge with those of us who were new to the playground. By the time I was done reading I knew my child would sleep through the night by Sunday, walk at 6 months and be a potty pro by his first birthday. I will be the proud mother of the smartest kid at preschool with the most birthday invites.

Well, he definitely had the most birthday invites. My child had more friends in preschool then I had in my entire 28 year lifetime. Little did I know that being a preschool mom meant I was about to inherit a whole new group of friends and play dates were a requirement. I got to hear every labor story of every child in the classroom along with their older brothers and sisters. Who knew how exciting this topic would be? By the end of the day, I was qualified to deliver an entire boy scout group.

Being this little guy’s mother was so much fun. He was happy, he was easy and he was mine. He was a charmer, entertaining anyone who would pay attention to him. The stage is his comfort zone and the bigger the audience the better. How can I possibly love anyone as much as I love him.

Three years later his brother was on his way. How hard can it be? I’ve already had one little boy. I’m prepared, I’m ready. There was no need for a book this time around. Happiest time of my life. I was the mother of a newborn and a three year old. Not to mention a puppy, but that’s another story.

Okay, where’s the book! This child is nothing like my first. There is no book that said I would be learning everything all over again. Right from birth they were different. And I would need to learn a different set parenting skills. What worked for one did not work for the other. They were night and day!

One child loved attention, wasn’t afraid to sing and dance. He loved people and couldn’t wait to attend social functions. By the age of three he was ready for school, enjoyed parties, going to grandparent’s houses, and holding doors for people. Discipline for him was removing him from the room away from everyone.

The second one had severe anxiety. He cried and threw up every day before school up until third grade. Separating him from everyone was a gift not a punishment. Nothing that worked for the first one worked for the second. He needed more patience, more understanding and more one on one with me.

One enjoys theater and has a lot of friends. He is creative and can easily express his emotions if need be. He attended every dance and school concert, as well as played the lead role in three of his high school’s Musicals. After receiving his bachelor’s degree in Communications, he moved to Florida and got a job at Disney World. He lives every day like it’s his last and doesn’t plan for the future. He’s my modern day Peter Pan.

The other enjoys sports and the outdoors. He lettered in Football, Basketball and Baseball, while his passion is fishing every chance he gets. He has a handful of best friends that he will keep for a lifetime but doesn’t have a lot of patience or time for others. He’s very focused and goal driven. Duel majoring, he has his life planned out to retirement. He lives every day planning for the next. My modern day President.

I learned that there is no book to prepare you for parenting. Every child is unique. Every day is a new day. Every experience is different. What works for one child won’t work for another. What works one day may not work the next. What I learned about parenting, I learned from my children who taught me the way they needed to be loved.

-Tammy Jo Churches