Endometriosis- My Reality Is Not Yours

Living With Endometriosis

Have you ever heard of the expression, “Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!” first thing in the morning? That expression fits me perfectly, if instead it went “Wakey, wakey, extreme pain and extra strength tylenol!” That fits me a bit more than others. 

I wish I could start this off with something more upbeat, but as I lay in bed waiting for the spasms in my leg to stop and trying to grasp the reality of living with this chronic illness it certainly is easier said than done. 

My name is Vanessa. I am 27 years old and I have endometriosis. 

What Is Endometriosis?

Endometriosis as defined by a simple web search, “A disorder in which tissue that normally lines the uterus grows outside the uterus.

With endometriosis, the tissue can be found on the ovaries, fallopian tubes or the intestines.” 

But with someone actually living with this condition, it’s pure tortue in your own body. 

It doesn’t just affect your reproductive system. It’s much deeper than that (no pun intended) 

It can spread like wildfire, affecting the kidneys, your breathing, your mentality. It can cause fibroids in your uterus, painful ovarian cyst that constantly rupture, it even affects your bowels. Period shyts? Yeah, it’s a thing. The list goes on and on. Just like the actuality of this being something you live with. 

My Reality

I don’t wake up peacefully. I am not a Disney princess, my hair does not fall gently in my face as I open my window and stretch and sing until the forest animals come to iron my clothes for the day. 

If my 3 year old isn’t jumping on the bed getting me up then my 5 month old is screaming for a boob. Once my body decides to start working again I get up and tend to them. 

If I have time after settling the kids down with cartoons and breakfast, I can now take my daily anti inflammatory, pain relief and nausea medicines..because who needs toast and orange juice, am I right? 

If my body doesn’t completely reject the medications I just shoveled down I can now attempt to get things done around the house. 

But sometimes I don’t want to do anything. Being a stay-at-home mom, according to society that means I am not entitled to complain. I am not allowed to admit that I’ve had days where I’ve locked myself in the bathroom to cry. Or that I would like to have access to my own snacks. I haven’t had my own bag of Cheetos in months! 

Passing Judgment

People are always fast to judge what is different from their reality. I don’t live a picture perfect life, but to me it’s very real and it’s something that I wouldn’t change one bit, even having endo. Just because it invaded my body does not mean it consumes my life and what I choose to do with it. 

I was diagnosed at the age of 22. I’ve had 4 failed surgeries. Failed birth control methods. Misdiagnosed from those who have yet to understand what I have. I was told I could never have children. 

But I have two beautiful, healthy boys. A wonderful marriage. Things I thought this illness would take from me. Endo does not have me, 

My name is Vanessa. I am 27 years old, and I have endometriosis. 

This is my reality.