A Single Mom’s Guide to Dating Apps

Dating as a single mom is difficult enough, but adding COVID-19 into the mix has made it so much harder. Unless someone sets you up or you randomly meet someone out (which is sort of difficult while wearing a mask), dating apps are one of the only ways to meet someone.

Every dating app has their pros and cons, and I’ve personally tried out several over the past year. I’d like to share my experience with other single moms to hopefully make their dating life a little easier. I’ve compiled a list of the dating apps I’ve tried and some tips and tricks for each. I hope you find it helpful for once you’re ready to get back in the saddle.

I didn’t even know this existed until earlier this year, and it has some advantages to it that you won’t find on any other dating site. First off, it’s really easy to set up since it’s connected right to your Facebook account. A few clicks and you’re ready to go. It also shows if you have mutual friends with a potential match, which can make you feel a little better about talking to a stranger.

● If you accidentally pass on someone, you can view them again under the “Settings” tab if

you click on “Second Look”.

● Set your distance preference a little further than you normally would because sometimes

the Location feature doesn’t work correctly.

● You can hide your profile anytime you want without having to delete it by clicking “Take a

Break” under the “Account” tab in your Settings.

● You will not be matched with friends, so don’t be worried that someone you know will

find out you’re on there. You will only be matched with friends of friends.

The Hinge app is marketed as a “relationship” app, so you’re less-likely to find those looking for a hookup on it. You can sign up with your Facebook account, or an email if you prefer. I like it because you have to post a minimum of 6 pictures, so you’re less likely to find fake profiles on there. You must also answer three questions, which is more fun than filling out a bio like on other dating apps.

● Free users only get 10 “Likes” per day, so use them wisely.

● Your profile will show “Just Joined” for a period of time once you sign up. This sort of

highlights your profile and makes you more appealing to potential matches.

● There’s a call or video chat feature on the app once you’ve matched with someone. You

can use this if you don’t feel comfortable giving out your phone number right away.

● It’s really easy to delete. A few clicks and you’re free and clear. Their slogan that it’s

“Designed to be deleted” definitely holds true in that regard.

This app has changed a lot over the past year, but it’s where I’ve found the most success. The profiles are usually more in-depth, and you are suggested matches based on your answers to certain questions. You can’t talk to each other unless you match, although users can leave intros for you to read when they like your profile.

● The notifications are touchy on this app, so make sure to check the app periodically so

you don’t miss anything.

● You can set your preferences under the “Discovery” option. Get more tailored results

based on age, location, body type, lifestyle, and even family preferences.

● You can’t see any of your likes unless you upgrade to a paid subscription. The only time

you’ll know when someone likes you under the free option is if you both like each other.

● You can choose to disable your account instead of deleting it, and everything is

automatically restored the next time you sign in.

If you want to be able to message a lot of people at once, this is the app for you. You get a lot of features without having to pay anything, like being able to message users on the app without mutually liking each other first. This can also be a downside though, especially for women who tend to get a lot of unwanted messages. It’s easy to block users, but it can be a hassle to constantly have to do it.

● If you don’t want to come up with a cheesy headline, just put a smiley face in your

profile. Trust me, guys will still message you.

● You can see the last 3 users that viewed your profile under the “Viewed Me” section on

the app.

● You’re able to see who is currently online or last online so you know which users are

most active on the app, and therefore more likely to respond.

● Upgraded users can also see when someone reads their message, so you know

whether someone is ignoring you or not instead of having to play the guessing game.

Perhaps the most well-known dating app, Tinder can be a bit overwhelming for single moms. A lot of the guys on there are looking for short-term relationships or hookups, so unless you’re looking for the same, it’s probably best to try one of the other apps listed above. I only survived a day on Tinder before deleting it.

● Be upfront in your profile about what you’re looking for, especially if you’re looking for

something long-term.

● Free users get the one “Super Like” per day that you can use to make yourself more

visible to a user that you want to match with.

 ● You can become “Tinder Verified” which is when you take two selfies to prove you are who you say you are in the pictures you’re posting. A good way to ensure you’re not being catfished is to only swipe right on verified profiles.

● You can connect your Instagram profile to your Tinder profile so that users can view it. If you’re a single mom, you might want to avoid this in order to protect your privacy. It is a nice feature to have when looking for matches, though.

There are so many dating apps out there, it can be difficult to choose which ones you want to try out. I’ve also tried Bumble and Zoosk, although they weren’t my favorite. There are even dating apps based on your body type, ethnicity, religion, and age. Search the app store on your phone to find which ones are available and stick with those that have the highest ratings.

If you want to stand out among the crowd of hopefuls, there are some tricks you can use.

1. Use good lighting for your pictures. To take a great selfie, face a window that has a lot of light coming through it and look into the camera lens. This will give you the best lighting and angle.

2. Make your main profile picture a head shot. Body shots are great, but it’s harder to see a person’s face, especially when you’re swiping quickly or looking at small thumbnail pictures.

3. Do include a few full-length shots so there are no surprises once an actual date occurs. Be genuine in your bio. Guys like girls who are real and authentic.

4. Don’t mention money in your profile. The most common complaint I hear from guys about girls on dating apps is that a lot of women are concerned about how much money they make. It’s a definite turn-off.

5. Show off your fun side! Dating should be fun and exciting, so don’t be afraid to get a little flirty and silly. Guys like a girl who can relax and joke around, so be sure to emulate that in your bio.

6. Remember, Dating apps can be a great way to meet people, but try not to have such high expectations right up front. You may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, but once you do, all that swiping will be worth it.