Mommy’s life is filled with love, lots of patience and a big dose of WTF.
Here are 100 phrases that prove you and other moms out there are on the same page when it comes to calling parenting like it is, #momlife.
1. “Seriously…?” 2. “I need a vacation” 3. “Don’t drink your bath water” 4. “Leave your diaper on” 5. “Your child” (while pointing at your hubby) 6. “I need coffee” 7. “That is not food” 8. “Put that back” 9. “Stop” 10. “I’m your mom not your maid” 11. “Don’t hit your brother” 12. “Don’t kick your sister” 13. “No toys in the aquarium” 14. “The dog is not your pony” 15. “I love you more than anything in the universe” 16. “My world” 17. “Mommies don’t have penises” 18. “What the f*ck” 19. “WAKE UP NOW” 20. “Get out of bed” 21. “Take your medicine” 22. “Did you take your medicine?” 23. “Whaaaaat?” 24. “No video games” 25. “Please poop” 26. “What is that smell?” 27. “Can you not” 28. “For the love” 29. “I’m about to snap” 30. “You want some?” 31. “Are you f*cking kidding me right now” 32. “Bitches be crazy” 33. “No, no, no” 34. “We don’t spit at the table” 35. “Because I said so” 36. “Stop being a jerk” 37. “Please don’t do that” 38. “How else am I gonna be the meanest mom in the world?” 39. “Hell to the no” 40. “It’s ok that you hate me” 41. “I’m your mom not your friend” 42. “Noooooooo” 43. “Jesus F*cking Christ” 44. “STAAAHHHP” 45. “One two three” 46. “You need to put socks on” 47. “Quit messing with the dog” 48. “For the love of god” 49. “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit” 50. “Why are you still cryin’” 51. “Be nice” 52. “Please don’t do that” 53. “Keep the water in the tub” 54. “Put your shoes on 55. “Put your shoes on the right feet” 56. “Be nice to the cat” 57. “Go to the bathroom” 58. “What are you doing” 59. “Because I’m the mommy” 60. “Listen to me when I’m talking to you” 61. “What’s in your mouth” 62. “F*cking hell” 63. “Ugh, Just Whhhyyyy” 64. “Wipe your own ass” 65. “Get your finger out of your nose” 66. “Get off of that” 67. “Put your penis away” 68. “Hurry up” 69. “The food goes in your mouth” 70. “Knock it off” 71. “Wine please” 72. “I’m not gonna tell you again” 73. “What did your mommy say?” 74. “We’re not going to the ER today” 75. “You just had a snack” 76. “Stop fighting” 77. “You’re killing me right now” 78. “I’ll give you something to cry about” 79. “Clean your room” 80. “Go to your room” 81. “Ask daddy” 82. “Leave me alone” 83. “My kid did what?” 84. “See what happens” 85. “F*cking hell” 86. “Mommy told you no” 87. “Oh for f*cks sake” 88. “I mean it” 89. “Take it down a notch” 90. “I can’t believe I just said that” 91. “Stop and don’t” 92. “Don’t even think about it” 93. “Because I said so that’s why” 94. “Eat your vegetables” 95. “I don’t care who started it” 96. “Wait until your dad gets home” 97. “I don’t give two sh*ts” 98. “Ask me one more time” 99. “I’m about to lose my sh*t” 100. “I’m done”