Middle Child

You are my middle child and that makes you so special.

It is a precarious place in the family that you reside. At any moment you have to pivot between being the older and the younger sibling.

I know this can be a frustrating and annoying role. I was a middle child myself. Just like you, I was sandwiched in between, but I promise it will get easier in the years to come.

It will even become a badge of honor. As you tell people you were the middle child, they will give you a look that is equal parts sympathetic and impressed. They will respect you.

 

Being in the middle really isn’t so bad.

I knew you were different from the moment you were born, long before you had the role of “the middle child.” You always had curiosity, determination, and zest for life.

If I could describe you in a few words it would be relentless and effervescent. This makes you stand out, so I’m always proud of how special you are.

Having to be sometimes little and sometimes big has also allowed you to develop impressive negotiating skills.

You’ve learned how to both cause trouble AND get out of trouble in one fell swoop.

It’s hard for me not to laugh and feel a little proud as you come to me, spinning one of your stories or pleading your case, knowing that in the not too distant future, the student will become the teacher.

I know you feel as though you live in the shadow of your other siblings.

But what you don’t always see is how you always make your presence known in a special way with your amazing qualities.

You compare yourself with your siblings. In doing that you, usually feel that you fall short. You shouldn’t feel that way because at times it is you the one that sets a good example to other siblings.

You should know that your younger brother brags to his friends about you when you’re not around. He looks up to you for guidance and advice even if he’s throwing things at you at the same time.

Being the middle child doesn’t make you the “family misfit.”  You will, at times, feel as though you are kind of floating in the family without a real title or identity.

But in that middle space is also a lot of freedom.

Freedom to try new things and see who you want to be.

You have none of the pressure of being the oldest and the one who had to set the tone for our family in school and sports.

None of the pressure of being the youngest who, once you and your sister go off to college, will be at home and the sole focus of your father and my attention.

I can see how being the middle child is shaping you into a great human being and you should know how special you are to me always.

As your mom, I have learned the delicate balance of harnessing your relentlessness without squashing your enthusiasm.

I know that both will serve you well in life and I have no doubt that whatever you set your mind to you will accomplish.

At times you may feel a little lost, but my hope is that you see the opportunity you have. The opportunity in that contemplative time and the beauty of being able to make your own spotlight.

In so many ways you already have!