It all happened so fast, from the moment we found out you were sick to the moment God decided to call you home.
You struggled for almost two years, living the last years of your life attached to an oxygen machine. I know you knew I loved you, but I’m not quite sure you knew how much. I know I wasn’t always aroundand I wasn’t always the most talkative towards the end but my heart was breaking watching you suffer, my heart ached to see you struggle to eat, it pained me to see a man once so full of life, get worse and worse right in front of my eyes.
I wish I would have gotten to tell you just how much you meant to me before you had to go. You were the father/grandfather I never had, you may not have been either of those things by blood but you were by heart. You always lifted me up and made me feel as if I mattered. You were the man who walked me down the aisle when I got married and now that I’m divorced it hurts knowing we will never have that opportunity again. I remember the look on your face when I asked you to walk me down the aisle, your eyes filled with tears as you hugged me. I will never forget that moment. Just like I will never forget the day you left this world.
I was at work and I got the text that you had passed away, I remember feeling every piece of my heart break, I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t accept the fact that you were really gone. I still wake up hoping you’ll be sitting at the kitchen table drinking your coffee, waiting for me to come sit and talk to you, I’m sorry I didn’t stay an extra 5 minutes and talk with you, I’m sorry I wasn’t there the night before you passed away. I know that every night you would ask if I was coming home and I wish with everything in me that I was there that night. I miss you more than words could describe. I still have dreams with you in them. All the memories flutter through my mind, from the time I was just a little girl till now you were there. I wanted my future children to know you and be a part of your life, like my sister’s children were, those babies loved you so much. We all loved you so much.
I pray that you rest in peace, that you’re not struggling anymore and you realize just how much I love you and miss you every day.