As someone who has been the second choice, pretty much her entire life, I can tell you that being someone’s second choice sucks. It can make you feel like you’re not good enough.
It can happen in any aspect of your life; relationships, jobs, friends, family, school, organizations, etc.
I’m not here to lie to you and say that it won’t always be this way, because it just might. You’re not always going to be someone’s first choice, second choice, third or fourth choice.
What I’m here to tell you is that you need to be your own first choice. Put yourself first, over and over’ even though it sounds selfish.
If you make yourself someone else’s second choice when it comes to deserving your love, it can be detrimental. Making yourself your own second choice when it comes down to who should get the job, can be devastating. Just simply putting yourself second in any situation, can destroy your confidence and your ability to be more than just having potential.
If you don’t believe in yourself, how can anyone else?
I’m not saying you need to put your interests in front of others, I’m saying that you have to love yourself and you have to love yourself enough, the more it’ll lift yourself up and help you spread that love to others and life them up as well.
You don’t need to be your own enemy. Don’t tell yourself that you’re not pretty enough, skinny enough, interesting enough, smart enough, or good enough; because you are.
As much as it hurts to say, you’re going to have other people tell you those exact things throughout your life, you don’t need to hear it from yourself too.
I’m sorry that someone else was picked for the job you wanted. I’m sorry that the guy you were interested in picked the other girl. I’m sorry that your friend went to the movies with someone else and not you (didn’t even ask if you wanted to go at all), and I’m sorry that there are people that don’t believe in you, but I do.
With all of the hurt, the condescending voices, and the feeling of worthlessness about yourself from others, I realized that we don’t need to do that to ourselves.
So, for the girl who always feels like a second choice: you are not always going to be a second choice. You'll be a first choice a lot, and yes, there will also be times where you’ll be a second, third, or fourth choice.
But also remember, there are many times when you will choose yourself.
We live in this world where things won’t always be great and we won’t always be someone’s first choice, but the one thing you need to remember is that your value isn’t determined by being someone else’s choice.
And only one person has to know that: