Love flourishes when we give it to other people, but love always starts with ‘me.’ We are the only ones responsible for our life, choices & deeds so we just have no right to be neglectful of ourselves; at the end of the day “you” are all you have. But where does your love come from? If you expect it to come from the people in your life you care about, there’s an issue there, because you can’t control those people & you can wind up disappointed & hurt if you rely on external sources for love. I’m going to share some ways to fuel your life with the love you need & how not to rely on other people to get it from. Recognizing the value of self-love is the first step to improving your quality of life.
Recognize your own beauty
Self-love can motivate you to adopt healthy habits & take care of your physical self. It doesn’t mean you don’t see room for improvement, there is always ways to improve yourself, you never stop learning; it just means you care enough to value all the parts of you. You express your love for yourself by doing things that make you look & feel your best. Don’t wait until you lose weight, get a promotion, get the perfect hairstyle, have the latest brand name shoes/clothes or get the iPhone X to love yourself. You can love yourself now by changing your focus on what’s important. Start with one small feature & decide to love that part of you first; own it to the fullest. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s uniquely you. You realize that you are the only one, with your unique traits, qualities & potentialities. It will give you a profound sense of confidence. When you accept who you are, you feel no need to compare yourself to others, it gives you the most powerful & inspiring feeling ever. Everybody has imperfections, for example, I am short & that will never change; moreover, I hate high heels. I don’t have perfect teeth, but I still smile; I could go on, but we are only humans we all have flaws; I was obsessed & so focused on what I wasn’t that I couldn’t see that I have a nice body, brilliant mind & kind heart. But when I accepted those imperfections about myself I became even more beautiful & more confident. I advise you to stop looking at yourself as tall or short, skinny or fat, beautiful or ugly. Every single person in this world is beautiful in their own way
Drop negative thinking
Sometimes our way of thinking affects our life greatly, we can become our own worst enemies or our own best allies, it all comes down to self-talk. We’ve all been guilty of dwelling on the negative. However, when that gloomy self-talk becomes a habit, over time it can make you depressed, anxious & stressed, or it leads to self-destructive behavior.
Self-reproach & sense of shame are the worst things a person can experience. The little voice inside your head that can drag you down when you make a mistake must be changed immediately. You probably wouldn’t talk that way to someone you love, right? so why say it to yourself? Replace that negative self-talk with something positive & up-lifting. When you make a mistake, pad yourself in the back & try an encouraging phrase like, “It’s ok! I’ll just try again, or well I did my best, let’s keep going! It’s the willingness to pick yourself up when life throws you a curveball. Even when you’re hurting, lifting yourself up as if you truly were your own best friend. It’s reminding yourself how strong you are.
Take care of yourself
We are often so busy with work, our careers, taking care of our children & others that we neglect ourselves. Be more aware of your physical condition & do things to comfort yourself. When you’re tired after a long day at work, sit down & take a break before making dinner or doing other things rather than just pushing through. You have been working tons of overtime at work, treat yourself to go get a full body massage. You are stressed, overwhelmed for whatever reason, take yourself shopping, get a new haircut, go on a trip, do things that make you happy & help you unwind your mind from all the stress. These are small ways you let yourself know that your comfort & well-being are important. My definition of self-care is letting yourself do whatever you want to do. Self-care only works when you listen to your body & do what you want without resistance. Relaxing self-care activities also trigger the production of the body’s “feel-good” hormones, like serotonin & oxytocin. These hormones are connected to better moods, better sleep, & naturally-occurring pain-relief.
A wise man once said
“As I began to love myself, I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health, food, people, things, situations & everything that drew me down & away from myself.
At first, I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is 'LOVE OF ONESELF”
Much love <3
Mitzi J Hernandez