So many times I have wanted to say something to you but I never know where I should start, apologizing for all the time you have had to pick up my pieces or thanking you for always keeping me together. Over the years, you have been the glue that has kept me together. You gave me the strength to put a fake smile on my face instead of being a complete wreck.
I owe you so many apologies. You shouldn’t have had to pick me up all those times I fell apart. You have a lot going on without having to worry about my mental health too. I should be stronger, not always be leaning on you to keep me standing. I didn’t choose this but either did you so you shouldn’t suffer the repercussions of mental illness. You get hit with the collateral damage of the illness, all my negativity, and pain. It is not fair to you.
You shouldn’t have to deal with any of it, but you do. I will forever be grateful for that. I am fully aware that I don’t thank you enough. Just know how hard it is for me to swallow my pride and admit that I need you right now, that I need the help. I am not strong enough to do this on my own.
If I could fathom the words to say, I would thank you for all the times you stayed by my side telling me to breathe because I couldn’t on my own. Tell you how much I appreciate all the times you sat at home with me because I couldn’t stand to go out that night. Explain to you how much it means to me all the times you saw me break down but continued to tell me how beautiful I am. Confess to you how many times I felt like giving up but remembered I had you and kept going.
The little things you do for me, mean more to me than you will ever know. I feel as if, I am needy right know because I don’t have the strength to do this by myself. But, I never once had to ask you to be there for me. You have been there every second, no questions asked.
This hasn’t been easy for me, but I know I haven’t made it easy for you either. Thank you for giving me the strength and courage to get through every day. You have been a daily reminder of why life is worth living. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it this far. You motivate me to fight for my happiness. To not just settle and let this illness claim me.
Every day I fight a battle but never have I fought it alone. You have been by my side since day one mom. Life has gotten a little crazy, but I need you to know that your support doesn’t go unnoticed. This couldn’t have been easy for you. So thank you a million times for catching me every time I fall and being the strength I need to continue this journey we call life.
Thank you for being my rock and biggest blessing.